6 Ways to Deal with Long Term Transitioning Setbacks

Hi readers! I washed my hair on Friday and unfortunately encountered several horrible tangles and a few knots. I tried to be patient,  but after about ten minutes of struggling, the baby started crying, the laundry wasn't done, and I was only two hours away from needing to cook dinner with no meal plan in site and a dental appointment in 20 minutes. So...I pulled...


I tugged...


I tore...



I ripped...


And the knots came tumbling down...my confidence along with it. For the next day, I was tempted...SOOOO tempted to call the stylist who used to do my relaxers (yes, she's still listed in my favorites, so shoot me!). But something in me said: "STOP! You don't want to do this...Put down the phone...everything's going to be okay." And here I am blogging about it. And so without further adieu, my 6 ways to handle the setback.

1. Take a Deep Breath and Relax

Setbacks happen as a relaxed head, transitioning chick, and a natural, especially if you're learning to care for your hair. Just because you're not the Stephen King of hair care (who can write an entire 500 page novel perfectly the first time) doesn't mean you should give up. Everyone makes mistakes, and the more you make, the easier it is to handle them (trust me, I know. I've been working on hair care for almost eight years now). Don't make any rash decisions about going back to relaxers. In all honesty, it could make the problem worse depending on how bad your setback was. Imagine this...you got frustrated like me and ripped out tons of hair, then hopped in your car and drove straight to the stylist, pleading your case. He or she relaxes your hair and...half of it comes out in the comb! Yikes! No thanks. I'll take my chances continuing on the transitioning road.

2. Identify the Problem and Change One Thing at a Time

Don't do what I did and decide to try two new products and a new hairstyle for the week. It makes it much more difficult to identify what caused your setback. Now the only way to figure it out is to either reject both the style and the products, or test them out one by one; and that may result in even more breakage.

3. Indulge and Immerse Yourself (or more precisely your fingers) into Your Roots: 

If you're like me, you have a very hard time keeping your hands away from those fun, crinkly 4b roots. So instead of guarding and protecting them like a mommy bird over her hatchlings, dig in and enjoy it. It always makes me feel better when I massage my little nappies and imagine my super thick natural roots extending to the ends of my hair one day. It may help you, too.

4. Go Back to Someone Else's Roots

On my computer, I have a folder of transitioning and natural hairstyles that I LOVE. Whenever I look at them, they help me remember what the end result of long term transitioning will lead to. Unfortunately I can't post them since I don't know who half of them belong to and I can't credit them, but as I try the styles on my own hair, I'll show you my results. Maybe a new style will be my next post!

5. Go Ahead and Treat Yourself to the "Old You"

...or so you think. Yes readers, I said it! Go to the salon and get it straightened. Or if you don't trust stylists and think they might damage it straight, do it yourself. Then look in the mirror and embrace it. LOVE your straightened hair if you love it. It's not wrong! Straightened hair is just a look. At least when you're natural, a little water can wash away that slick look and you can get back to your roots. Just don't get too addicted to straightening. For my hair, I think I could do it once every three months, but I don't have any plans to do so. And who knows? You might find that the opposite is true and you've thrown away your love for the straight look like last years' rancid relationship. Those feelings you thought you still had may not be there anymore and you can look to the future.

6. Blog About It! 

Seriously! Sometimes in the midst of your woes, you forget why you decided to transition in the first place! When I go back and read my reasons for wanting to transition, I feel revitalized. I remember how I love the feel and look of my natural roots, and the versatility of my hair that no other race of people can replicate. Love it!