Blog Expansion

Hello all! I just wanted to inform all my readers that my blog will undergo a bit of a transformation soon. There are other aspects of my life that do not include hair that I would like to discuss, but I cannot do so under my current blog title. I know that posting about other topics will help me keep the blog alive and avoid the long gaps in between posts.

No worries about the link name. That will stay the same. I will probably pay the fee to get rid of the "blogspot" part, but it will still redirect you to this page.

Some upcoming topic areas:

• Budgeting: Something we all want to work on, but some of us are having trouble (namely me!). I will discuss the steps I'm taking to improve my budget and report back with my results.
• Working Moms Time Management: Another part of my life that I'm constantly working on is planning my time. With a baby, going to school, and working full time, and my husband doing the same, there truly aren't enough hours in the day. I will share what I am doing and I would definitely appreciate it if you contribute your ideas as well!
• Gratitude: I have a journal called Gratitude that my godparents gave me and it talks about taking the time out to share things for which you are grateful and how to show your gratitude. Instead of writing in the journal, I'll follow the journal's instructions and post here from time to time. These will be relatively brief posts (probably 100-200 words max). It's not the focus of this blog and I won't go overboard with it.
• Healthy Eating: We ALL want to get to a point where we're eating healthy. I haven't gotten there, but I will share my journey to healthy eating as well.

Wish me luck!

43 weeks: Straightening During the Transition Pros and Cons

Hi readers! I'm so very happy with my hair right now...mainly because it's not breaking and I haven't had to do anything to it other than comb it. It's been in a ponytail all week and it's still straight. I am considering straightening my hair more often (about once a month) during the transition, but I'm on the fence. So being the list-manic person that I am, I made a list of pros and cons.

Straightening for the Transition Pros:

• Less breakage (at least when my stylist does it)
• Very little in between maintenance (depending on your hair products)
• Allows me to have the best of both worlds
• Allows me to slowly trim hair and really see how much I'm trimming
• Makes my husband happy to see my hair straight sometimes
• Stops me from playing in my natural hair and causing more potential breakage
• Gives me one uniform texture which aids in styling

Straightening for the Transition Cons:

• Potential heat damage and permanently straightened hair
• I don't get to play in my natural hair! 
• May have to start the grow-out process over
• Makes me want to cut more hair

Looks like the pros list is better to me. Anyone else have anything to add? Pros or cons, let me know!

42 Weeks and Temptation Abounds: My Stylist Visit

Okay this is going to be quite a story. Let me begin with what I had been doing to my hair before the stylist visit.

So you all know that I was washing my hair weekly in three ponytails. I had started only combing through with a shower comb while soaking wet, and letting it dry in the ponytails. I think we determined that was where the problem started. Previously I was combing once or twice during the drying process with a normal-sized comb, but I stopped that when my hair started coming out in large quantities. Coincidentally (or not), it started coming out in large quantities when I went two weeks without washing or combing my hair.

Now when my stylist got to my hair, she looked quite befuddled as she tried to figure out how she was going to get through all of the matted hair. She put a detangling conditioner on it and put me under the dryer for 15 minutes before she even attempted to shampoo it. She said washing it in the state it was in before would only do more damage. After that, she gave me a protein treatment AND a deep conditioning treatment before carefully blowdrying and straightening my hair. All in all, the process took over three hours!

Once it was straight, the temptation to relax again was overwhelming, especially with my husband showering me with compliments all day.

I will never let my hair get like this again. No more ripping and no more laziness. My transitioning 4b hair requires a lot more care than that. Honestly, I'm thinking I will keep my hair straight most of the time throughout the transition by visiting my stylist every 4 weeks. Once the relaxed ends are gone I think I will enjoy my natural hair more.

Without further adieu, my straightened hair:

The Lesson: Even though life is a bit busier with my loving little baby boy, I still have to take time for myself to take care of my hair. I feel like when I'm not at work I always need to be caring for him. Sometimes I forget that I have a supportive husband and wonderful mother who are more than willing to watch my dear son while I take some time for myself. So now, Saturday mornings are all for me. I will either wash my own hair and take better care to remove the tangles, or go to the salon.

Week....???? Just Trying to Make it

Well, I'm just kidding about the weeks...kind of. I had to go back and count actually. I'm 41 weeks into my transition as of today and it feels...awful to be honest. I've finally found some time to post, since my little one finally slept the longest he's ever gone: 7 hours! I feel wonderfully rested this morning! I wasn't able to conditioner wash my hair mid-week like I said I would, but I have been consistently washing every Friday night and styling Saturday morning.

Anywho, I finally found somewhat of a solution to the tangling and breakage, which is apple cider vinegar (ACV) rinses. I shampoo and rinse, then spray my hair with a bottle of 3-parts-water-1-part-ACV mix and apply V05 conditioner over that. I let it sit for 2 or 3 minutes while I shower, then detangle lightly with a shower comb and rinse. Again, this only cuts down on the tangling, but it does not rid me of the problem. Unless you have incredibly strong hair, I don't think there is a way to safely avoid tons of breakage while transitioning as a 4b unless you keep your hair braided, whether in braids or in a sew-in weave. Since I cannot afford braids at the moment, and I despise sew-ins on me unless they look INCREDIBLY real (which I also cannot afford), I'm a bit SOL.

However, I called my stylist last night and left a message for her to call me. I've lost entirely too much hair to turn back, but I really don't want to cut my hair either. I'm hoping I can just get it blow-dried and straightened and get a deep trim. As long as I can put it in a ponytail, I'll be happy.

Despite my frantic worrying, I have managed to keep it stylin' even with all of the breakage. I'm working with what I've got. Here is a picture of my hair today:

Learned My Lesson

After my last hair debacle, I decided to try something new. I bought a deep conditioning product called Bioinfusion Critical Care Deep Moisture Masque. I liked the ingredients and decided to give it a try. To be honest, right now deep conditioning is not a priority because I really don't have time for the process. My son is now 13 weeks and I'm both breastfeeding and pumping, I've gone back to work, and my husband is working and going to school almost full time.

Anywho, my hair is almost dry right now, but unfortunately I lost a TON of hair. I keep finding knots at the line of demarcation where the two textures meet. I've decided to make a big change to my regimen that I refused to consider before: I'm adding a mid-week conditioner wash, or cowash. I thought the extra manipulation would cause a problem, but honestly I don't think it could get much worse than this:

I put the quarter next to it so you could tell how much hair I lost. And this was just in the shower. Once I put the Bioinfusion product in my hair, I detangled in a painfully slow manner, finally getting through most, if not all, of the knots and tangles. I lost quite a bit more hair then as well. The finger detangling didn't work for me. I was missing too many tangles. I think I'm better off running the shower comb through my damp hair immediately after adding my moisturizer or leave-in products. My next post will of course be concerning my mid-week cowash experience. Wish me luck!

Side Note for Nursing Moms Who Work

Hi ladies. I know this has nothing to do with hair, but I think this is important information for pumping mothers to know. I originally posted this on LHCF's Pregnancy and Motherhood Forum, so that's why the formatting is a bit off. The posting is below.

I thought I would share my pumping at work story since I know some people might be contemplating doing this and in my experience, it's hard to find other people stories about this topic. So here goes.

First things first: I called ahead. I spoke to human resources who let me know that they have an empty office available in their building right next to a fridge and sink, but I could also ask my direct supervisor for a room if I wanted to be closer to my desk. As it turns out, she also had a room available, but I could choose which room would be more comfortable for me.

When I went in on Monday I had a 4 hour orientation, but the human resources secretary came to get me at a time I think she believed would be a good break time for me to pump. The first time, I admit, was awkward. I mean, milking yourself never really is comfortable, especially when you're wondering if people outside the door can hear your pump going.

I was also afraid that I wouldn't make much milk without DS around. So I pulled out my cell phone and flipped to my two videos of him to get my letdown started: one is of him cooing, and the other is of him nursing at around 4 weeks. I made 6 ounces of milk, which is average for the first pumping of the day. Some people make more, but 4-6 is normal for a 12-week-old baby.

At the end of my first day, I had made 21 ounces of milk (that is with an extra pumping session before I left home). I actually cut out the pumping session before leaving home because it was too much milk. I was feeding DS before DH took him to my mom's AND pumping an hour later. It wasn't necessary. I will add that session back when he goes through a growth spurt or I run out of frozen milk, whichever comes first. The second day I made 15 ounces.

An extra positive: My DS has never been a comfort nurser. He eats 5 minutes on each side and he's done, but he's actually BIGGER than the average baby! My doctor said he's an EXTREMELY efficient nurser. These days he's doing a bit more comfort nursing (light suckling, but taking in little to no milk). I never realized how much I missed something I never had! Most people don't recommend allowing comfort nursing, but I think it's a great bonding experience for a working woman who loses 40+ hours a week with their LO. I don't let him nurse to sleep though unless it's the middle of the night.

My recommendations:

• Make sure you have six bottles and three sets of pump parts (enough to pump three times per day). The last thing you want to do after pumping at work is to go to the kitchen sink and spend an extra 5-10 minutes washing parts for your next session. It's quite tedious. Trust me because that's what I'm doing until my extra parts arrive in the mail.
• Don't forget your bag! Make sure you have two mini cooler bags to store your pumped milk in to keep it all together. One for you at work and one for your babysitter/daycare. I can't tell you how many times I've almost walked out of the door without my cooler bag.
• Call ahead. Depending on your relationship with your supervisor, you can call and talk to them personally or go through HR. I kind of regret going through HR because I've worked with my supervisor before as a graduate assistant a couple of years ago and I didn't think they would talk to her before I did. I only called them to verify that they had a room for my first day during orientation and to make sure they didn't have a rule against pumping on company time which I've heard some jobs have.
• Pump ahead of time. It's great for your LO to have the freshest milk possible to reap the best benefits from the nutrients, but babies have growth spurts. Be sure to give your babysitter/daycare the fresh milk you pumped that day plus two or three frozen bags you pumped before starting work. They can keep them in their freezer just in case. Don't forget to label the bags with your LO's name if he's going to a daycare!
• Don't underestimate the hassle. Don't go in thinking pumping at work will be super easy. If you keep your expectations at the right level, you can get through pumping for as long as you desire, but take it day by day. You might want to pump for 12 months, but don't be too hard on yourself if you just can't get there. I'm going for 6, but hoping for 9-12.
• ETA: You MUST have a hands free pump bra. Period. If you think pumping on the job is hard, think about holding two hands to your breast for 15 minutes.

6 Ways to Deal with Long Term Transitioning Setbacks

Hi readers! I washed my hair on Friday and unfortunately encountered several horrible tangles and a few knots. I tried to be patient,  but after about ten minutes of struggling, the baby started crying, the laundry wasn't done, and I was only two hours away from needing to cook dinner with no meal plan in site and a dental appointment in 20 minutes. So...I pulled...


I tugged...


I tore...



I ripped...


And the knots came tumbling down...my confidence along with it. For the next day, I was tempted...SOOOO tempted to call the stylist who used to do my relaxers (yes, she's still listed in my favorites, so shoot me!). But something in me said: "STOP! You don't want to do this...Put down the phone...everything's going to be okay." And here I am blogging about it. And so without further adieu, my 6 ways to handle the setback.

1. Take a Deep Breath and Relax

Setbacks happen as a relaxed head, transitioning chick, and a natural, especially if you're learning to care for your hair. Just because you're not the Stephen King of hair care (who can write an entire 500 page novel perfectly the first time) doesn't mean you should give up. Everyone makes mistakes, and the more you make, the easier it is to handle them (trust me, I know. I've been working on hair care for almost eight years now). Don't make any rash decisions about going back to relaxers. In all honesty, it could make the problem worse depending on how bad your setback was. Imagine this...you got frustrated like me and ripped out tons of hair, then hopped in your car and drove straight to the stylist, pleading your case. He or she relaxes your hair and...half of it comes out in the comb! Yikes! No thanks. I'll take my chances continuing on the transitioning road.

2. Identify the Problem and Change One Thing at a Time

Don't do what I did and decide to try two new products and a new hairstyle for the week. It makes it much more difficult to identify what caused your setback. Now the only way to figure it out is to either reject both the style and the products, or test them out one by one; and that may result in even more breakage.

3. Indulge and Immerse Yourself (or more precisely your fingers) into Your Roots: 

If you're like me, you have a very hard time keeping your hands away from those fun, crinkly 4b roots. So instead of guarding and protecting them like a mommy bird over her hatchlings, dig in and enjoy it. It always makes me feel better when I massage my little nappies and imagine my super thick natural roots extending to the ends of my hair one day. It may help you, too.

4. Go Back to Someone Else's Roots

On my computer, I have a folder of transitioning and natural hairstyles that I LOVE. Whenever I look at them, they help me remember what the end result of long term transitioning will lead to. Unfortunately I can't post them since I don't know who half of them belong to and I can't credit them, but as I try the styles on my own hair, I'll show you my results. Maybe a new style will be my next post!

5. Go Ahead and Treat Yourself to the "Old You"

...or so you think. Yes readers, I said it! Go to the salon and get it straightened. Or if you don't trust stylists and think they might damage it straight, do it yourself. Then look in the mirror and embrace it. LOVE your straightened hair if you love it. It's not wrong! Straightened hair is just a look. At least when you're natural, a little water can wash away that slick look and you can get back to your roots. Just don't get too addicted to straightening. For my hair, I think I could do it once every three months, but I don't have any plans to do so. And who knows? You might find that the opposite is true and you've thrown away your love for the straight look like last years' rancid relationship. Those feelings you thought you still had may not be there anymore and you can look to the future.

6. Blog About It! 

Seriously! Sometimes in the midst of your woes, you forget why you decided to transition in the first place! When I go back and read my reasons for wanting to transition, I feel revitalized. I remember how I love the feel and look of my natural roots, and the versatility of my hair that no other race of people can replicate. Love it!